Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Heads or Tails!!

Its the 28th of March and is getting hot as hell and no its not the blazing kind of heat .Its the kind of heat which gets to you and makes you feel sticky .Everyday as i walk to the Office i cross a swimming pool and the temptation to dive right into it is so over powering!But i have a feeling Wet is not the formal look this season!
I Slept for 8 hours and still feeling sleepy...

I am basically trying to make my mind.Ya Ya I know that would be easy if i had one!
BUt serioulsy speaking i attended 6 inetrviews converted 3 Wl 2 and Rejected by 1
Andi am not able to decide between two of them .They are like the top 2 in my list!
1 is the best in Asia in its specialization and the other is a total bindaas one in general!And which do i choose ... well wish i could do both....

I worked so hard for CAT and fortune or misfortune i correctly fell sick just before the exam and screwd it up big time.I was so pissed with the whole experience that i wrote all my other exams with the "i-dont-give-a-damn"attitude and nailed all of them.(talk about ironies).Went for the interviews and converted all the ones i wanted oh so badly and now i am confused not in the vague "main-kahan-hoon" hindi movie style but in the whole "I-wanna-blow-my-brains-out" Kind!! I know that there are so many mba-wannabes who would die to be in my place.Believe me i was there a year seeing my friends discuss courses and going place and that definietly worsened my condition known as the "fire-in-the-belly" syndrome.I want to be in a better place charting out big things but then i look at the Bigger picture the one with a family and kids and stuff.And i dont want to choose between the both.Sure i would love to be a Big CEO kind but not at the cost of my kids calling the bai "amma".And then of course the Big question pops up what are we all looking for in life.Sure it was fun and every time i eat chicken burger i feel that i have attained moksha but what is it that we are here for.Did God decide Earth had to be punished and thus send parasites like us (as per the dictionary parasite : [n] an animal or plant that lives in or on a host (another animal or plant); the parasite obtains nourishment from the host without benefiting or killing the host ..see what i mean!) or are we here by some random absurd fall of dice.And no i am not planning to climb the Himalayas and sit under a tree (or an avalanche) and do penance..Its just that i like to have direction and a purpose not this feeling of a blind man walking in the dark in a land mine with no walking stick..i feel as if i am lurching from one thing to another!

I look at people around me who have talent and know where they are going and i am just jealous ..so envious coz i dont know!I want to have a family but i am not the kind of person who can stay at home.I need to work but dont want to compromise on my intelligence and i am at least a little.My mom says that i am being over ambitious and want it all .Guess i am never gonnna be content in life but I DONT WANT TO.I believe that you are given only one life and you have to achieve so much in that..

Some body please help...!

well if i am not able to make up my mind by EOD i guess the only thing left is heads or tails
(anybody has a coin!) but then i would probably have trouble deciding which option is heads or tails



Blogger Rejitha said...

Hmmm.. I think I should edit the testimonial i write for you in orkut. Ya rite!!! She definitely knows what she wants from life!!!

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